I heard we made out
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
