4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
