I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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