She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
