these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize