i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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