Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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