brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
