If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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