This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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