Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
