kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
