he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
