I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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