Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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