Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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