I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
