Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
