Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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