I'm drive I can fine osifer
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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