lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
