we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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