SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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