How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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