My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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