so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
