okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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