Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
