just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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