Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
