oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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