Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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