I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
