Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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