I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
