I bet he comes in French.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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