my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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