Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
