I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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