So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
