I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I want a musical about memes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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