Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize