I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
