Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
