What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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