between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
