he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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