last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
