weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize