You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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