imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
