Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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