i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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