You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
