At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize