Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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