Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
