CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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